Like refugees fleeing a village, their belongings in great disheveled piles visible for all to see. Only in reverse. They weren't leaving, they were arriving.
Move-in day, class of 2011.
At the 16-story, 600-resident Bohn Hall at Montclair State, the chaos generator of life showed off, deciding that Saturday would be an excellent time for one of the two elevators to break. Moms sat guarding large piles of suitcases, laptops, mini-refrigerators, fans and full-length mirrors, while dads and little brothers lugged possessions up the narrow staircases to lodging that resembled the stateroom scene in "A Night at the Opera."
And (you'll find this hard to believe, I know) tempers actually snapped, ruining the sentimental goodbyes that had been anticipated for weeks.
Now?
Equal and opposite reaction time.
It's awfully quiet in those houses that sported "Class of 2007" signs and balloons just a couple of months ago.
Including ours. The diva who belted at all hours is doing her warm-ups somewhere else (or not). The bedroom door is open, and the bed is made. At all hours. "Will and Grace" and "The Wonder Years" no longer clog our TiVo queue, though eliminating them turns out to be less satisfying than we had envisioned.
The largest personality in the house is gone.
Down the street, the diva's voice teacher is expecting a baby. Any day now, in that house, an empty bedroom will be occupied. Life will be full, noisy, out of control. Possessions will pile up. And in a few years (or months), they'll give anything for a night alone. Just themselves. And when that night finally comes, by babysitter, grandparent or sleepover invitation, they'll will themselves not to spend the whole time thinking about the child who's temporarily under someone else's care. They'll try. And they'll fail. Because that's how it is.
The circle of life goes on.
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Comments (24)
Debbie Galant,
Now I'm all "verclempt" .
When we took our first born to school, we had made a decision not to cry. We wanted to show how much faith we had in our child.
Mistake.
We instead yelled at each other for the six hour drive. There was not a single moment that was wasted agreeing on something. When we stopped for a bathroom break,if there was a parking spot on the right and the driver took the one on the left, we argued.
Finally on the elevator arguing about who was going to carry what box, our first born said, "Gee, I never heard you guys like this". But we did not cry.
I still sit in the room and just look at it filled with furniture, but empty nevertheless.
I know how you feel. Last Thursday we took the firstborn to school and while I did not cry, it is strange not having his presence in the house.
Since he is only about 1 & 1/2 hrs away, he did come home for the long weekend, but is now gone again, having driven off with his father with nary a look back.
This is what I raised him to be - independent right?
i brought my daughter to school in indiana last week. i am happy for her because it is a great school and a good match for her. she was ready and excited about the new adventure. she has a nice roommate and friends from montclair nearby in another dorm.
when i got back, i saw a greek salad (my daughter's favorite) in the refrigerator, half eaten, from just 24 hours earlier--just before we headed out to the airport. at one a.m., tired from my lonely return flight,
i sat at the table and ate some of the salad. with her plastic fork, still in the aluminum container.
i spent the next two days manically cleaning the house, just to keep myself really busy. when my 16 year old son brought friends over i was thrilled--tripped over myself offering brownies, chips, cheerfully imploring, "stay! hang out! I'll order pizza!"
when he heads out in two years, i don't know what i'll do. probably reshingle the roof or something. just to keep really busy.
The "first borns" were undoubtedly relieved to be free from these overly tense parents.
Don't worry---you get use to it REALLY FAST....and believe it or not...it's not bad!
My father told me that my mom was not herself for 2 weeks after I went away to college. I could never understand that; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. It's not like I was being hauled off to prison! And I didn't even go that far away, certainly not across the country to CA. I was a 5-hour drive away and I called home often. This was before cell phones and the Internet, too.
time for unprotected sex and drinking till you puke.
i miss colegge
And it looks like high school was the best 7 years of your life.
Hey Miss M,
How bout them Orange?
LOL...how about 'em?
How's Ice doing? Hope you had a pleasant holiday weekend. We did.
The real "orange" (and purple) are playing tonight, Iceman and Miss Martta, and to a full house in a nowhere corner of SC. 24-3 at the half.
A broken elevator at Bohn, you say? Ahhh... now that brings back memories. The only thing missing from this story is the sprinkler system starting another fire.
Given the option of waking up tomorrow around 9am to think about getting ready for my first class of the semester or getting up at 5am to go to work tomorrow... Man, what I wouldn't give for an excuse to go to school for 4 more years. :-(
In Boston, with 647 certified colleges and universities (a similar ratio to Duane Reeds in Manahattan), last week was known as the "Ryder Rodeo." At least one rental truck (per day) gets stuck under a bridge on Storrow Drive, sixteen sets of parents have to be institutionalized when they see the dorm junior will live in and for which they are paying Ritz Carlton rates, and 4,000 firstborns look up and down Marlborough Street and realize what a real Permanent Block Party might look like, and they can't wait for the 'rents to hit the road. Cool.
20 years ago I helped coordinate move-in day at MSU. It was flawless (and of coursed changed the very next year), but I still don't know why they don't stagger these days.
The best of Boston's (the whole city) move in day. Fantastic. I was on the faculty at BU and loved driving around watching all the kids come back having fun, hauling futons down Comm Ave. A great time.
Has anyone had a good experience moving in? My kid is 4 and I dread the day I have to drop him off. Not the emotion so much, the hassle of physically moving him.
I'd rather get up at 5 am and get paid to work, rather than paying a school to memorize textbooks and take tests. Lets just say I prefer learning when I'm engaged and interested in the subject, but being graded on how well you can answer questions that are designed to trick you is a total turnoff for me.
UVM August 1999.
95 degrees.
4th floor dorm room the size of a small closet -- no elevator.
NOT FUN.
UVM August 2000.
95 degrees.
Downtown Apt.in a house with friends.
MUCH EASIER...and it cost less than the dorms.
UVM August 1999.
95 degrees.
4th floor dorm room the size of a small closet -- no elevator.
NOT FUN.
UVM August 2000.
95 degrees.
Downtown Apt.in a house with friends.
MUCH EASIER...and it cost less than the dorms.
I see Tom is hard at work getting are preview button back up. LOL
Has anyone had a good experience moving in? My kid is 4 and I dread the day I have to drop him off. Not the emotion so much, the hassle of physically moving him.
I did fine, but I went to college in Oregon. Freshmen weren't allowed to have cars (or at least parking permits), so driving wasn't an option the first year. My parents saw me off at LGA and that was that. My stuff was shipped via Greyhound, who lost one box, but other than that not much hassle at all. If you can deal with being 3000 miles away from your offspring, maybe that's the way to go....
No, I never had a good experience. My advice (untested) would be to go light and add stuff down the road. On the first day the emotions are high, the nerves are jangled. Keep the logistics simple.
Has anyone had a good experience moving in?
My second year at MSU was a breeze. I moved in with whatever I could fit into one of those huge army backpacks (clothes for a few days, sheets, and my laptop if I remember correctly) and worried about everything else about a week later.
Of course, I lived about only 45 minutes away, so it was easier for me than someone traveling cross state.
Jim,
Maybe it had something to do with being a fine arts major, but I never really got that feeling in most of my major related classes (other than in Art History).
Mike,
What year did you start at MSU?
Kate,
I started at MSU in 1999.
Ah so, I started in 2002, you are not much older than myself. My brother moved into Freeman on Saturday, I'm very excited for him. I lived in Stone my freshman year. I thought being a Stoner was much better than being a Bohner.