Nothing Scary About Stephen Colbert Fans

Sometimes we have to print retractions. This is mine.

I retract my previous statement about there being something scary about this. In fact, there is nothing scary about it. Nothing at all. I've seen the light after receiving these three emails (in the jump) and seeing this reaction to my post. I must have been tripping or off my meds back when I wrote that original piece. If you want to know more about why Stephen Colbert fans are not scary at all, read on.

Dear Ms. George,

I would like to take issue with a Blog that was posted on Baristanet.com on Monday, November 19, 2007, specifically entitled "The Other Colbert Report". I am the author of the work to which your Blog refers ("The ‘Mont-clert Report' (write-up from last weekend's book signing" as posted on NoFactZone.net), and I'd like to address several blatant misconceptions and character misjudgments that were drawn solely from your opinion of the narrative itself and how they were
wrongly imposed upon myself and upon those who posted it on their website.

Now, mind you, I'm fully aware that not everyone in this world is required to like everything he or she reads either online, in a newspaper, magazine, etc. It's a free country, and I'm not oblivious to the fact that it's every American's God-given right to dislike any sort of text, whatever it may be. I don't take issue with that, and that is not the point of this e-mail. I am, however, appalled, personally offended, and extremely angry that my own personal character, about which you do not know, as well as the character of the staff at NoFactZone.net, were inaccurately generalized and slandered through the insinuations made by the brief text of this Blog.

You are correct in your deduction that, yes, I am a fan of Mr. Colbert's, as is everyone on the
NoFactZone.net staff, not to mention all of the site's subscribers, contributors and readers, and
comment-posters. I respect and admire his work as a writer, actor and comedian, and I sincerely appreciated the time he took out of his schedule to meet and greet some of his New Jersey fans that day.

But, I wholeheartedly resent the fact that you characterized me as, "a person like 'this' " who will
"scare you" and that I'm someone of whom the public and Mr. Colbert should be "very, very, very afraid".

If this is your personal opinion of me, then, so be it. Is it inaccurate? Atrociously. However, simply because I happened to provide great detail in my personal recount of the book signing does NOT automatically qualify me as "scary," and the fact that the narrative alone was used as the only judgment of this is grossly misguided and slanderous.

Other than reading this personal account, you do not know me at all and should be making claims about who you think I am simply because you read something I wrote on a website. Clearly, I don't know you either outside of this Blog; should I deduce who I think you
might be based only on the 2 sentences I read?

Absolutely not. Other than my initial knee-jerk reaction to this Blog (which was, needless to say, enraged), I have no pre-conceived notion of who you really are as a human being, and I highly doubt you are nearly as judgmental and spiteful as your Blog characterizes you to be. I would appreciate that you would extend the same courtesy to both myself and the staff at NoFactZone.net both as contributors to the online community and as human beings.

Moreover, the staff of NoFactZone.net work very hard to maintain a credible presence on the web and maintain strict journalistic integrity for which they are known. In the community of Mr. Colbert's fans, their site is widely respected as a trusted source of accurate information that is kept strictly in keeping with Mr. Colbert's professional life and public appearances. To imply that these hard-working and dedicated folks associate themselves and maintain a fansite that encourages subscribers and contributors "that will scare you" is pure conjecture and entirely
unfounded.

Therefore, I would like to formally and politely request a retraction of what was posted on
Baristanet.com in these regards. Believe me, there are more than a handful of readers of NoFactZone.net that are just as irate and furious as I am about this Blog (and I do believe you've already heard from a handful of them) due to the fact that both my character and the character of the staff and fans of NoFactZone.net were unfairly characterized in this manner. I invite
your readers to draw their own conclusions about what I wrote based solely on what they read, without any preconceived notions presented to them beforehand.

Thank you for your attention concerning this manner, and I sincerely hope that you will take this e-mail as gravely and seriously as I do.

Sincerely,
Lisa

Those other irate and furious readers? Here's what Toasty Sue had to say...

I can't imagine what other reason you would have for making a tiny little blog post whose only purpose is to insult an undeserving person who you clearly know nothing about and to invite your readers to insult that person to. I am, of course, referring to the post in which you link to No Fact Zone--to a fan's description of a Colbert book signing--describing it as "scary" and suggesting that "Colbert should be very very very afraid." Why on earth would you do that? I'd actually be quite interested in hearing an explanation. Was it just a slow newsday, or are unwarranted attacks on completely innocuous and, frankly adorable, contributors to other blogs a regular feature on this site? I'll assume they are. I'm not interested enough in you to look around the site much more than I have. You claim the post is "scary," but I don't know why you would think so. Maybe I've just read too many much more ridiculous dreamy-fan reports to appreciate how "scary" it might look to people who are cool like you. I find them charming. Even the weird ones. Even the ones that go completely overboard. And believe me, the one you picked on did not go completely overboard. But that's not the point. The point is you deliberately drew attention to this post in order to ridicule it and to encourage your readers to do the same. And that is super super lame. It's as lame as all of the mean and snooty shit you probably did when you were going to whatever snooty highschool you went to. You know the rich, stuck up, vacuous, prom queen bitch in every high school hijinx film made during the eighties? That's you. So congratulations on that. I look forward to the scene where you get mud splashed on your face and fancy dress, your boyfriend leaves you for Molly Ringwald and a weird foreign exchange student auctions off your undies to the chess club. Jerk face!

Alison's not happy with me either...

I have a tip for you, find someone else to report about Mr. Colbert. Someone other than Liz George. She was very cruel in her recent post about the "Monclert" book signing. Was she trying to be funny, calling someone who contributed to the No Fact Zone site "scary"? Well, it was not funny, it was very hurtful and, by the way, completely wrong. I am a big fan of Stephen's, and I enjoy being able to go to one place that has information, interviews, episode guides and links to clips of the man's work. NFZ is that site. The enthusiasim that permeates the website comes from people like myself who are inspired by the man and who get a lot of enjoyment out of what he does. Yes, we're fangirls and we get worked up by being able to see him in person. Or, for someone like me on the other side of the country, we get worked up at being able to hear about an appearance like that book signing. Especially when the report is from one of us, one of the real fans who like the man and miss him during the writer's strike. And it's nice to have one place where we can talk about our feelings to other like-minded folks. But our adoration never crosses the line into obsession, and the NFZ website never gets too personal or intrusive. The website, by the way, is praised on Dan Dinello's website www.shockproductions.com. He is a friend of Mr. Colbert and the uncle of Paul Dinello, Stephen's good friend. And Mr. Colbert himself has said that he has visited NFZ himself. So I hope Ms. George will do the right thing and apologize for such a stupid catty post. I certainly will never take anything she says seriously until she does. Alison

So here goes. I apologize. Please accept my apology. I should not have called Lisa scary. Having received these emails, I realize now that I didn't even begin to know anything about scary when I wrote that post. I was completely and utterly in the dark. So please accept my apologies. Long live the Colbert Nation!!!

And please feel free to call me a jerk, jerk face, Molly Ringwald or any other insult in comments. I deserve it.