The Heroin-Victim Freak Show

Debbie: Thanks for the guts to tell it like it is. I saw this article in The Times and I couldn't help but think, "That poor kid" and "This is all about her, isn't it? She gets her soapbox and 15 minutes of fame, at her kid's expense." I have seen this type before and it's not pretty.

You should have gone to the parents session, yes she scares the shit out of you and your kids, but isn't that worth a life? Yes, I had mixed feelings about her delivery style, but who are we to say what her emotions and state of mind should look like given what happened to her son.Don't be so quick to judge others Miss Barista.

You should have gone to the parents session, yes she scares the shit out of you and your kids, but isn't that worth a life? Yes, I had mixed feelings about her delivery style, but who are we to say what her emotions and state of mind should look like given what happened to her son.Don't be so quick to judge her, Miss Barista.

I tell my sons (ages 19 and 14) that this is all to real. Good for her. She loved her son the way he was. She wants others to wake up and realize that she lost her joyfulness. She is only trying to help others. Good for her.

Debbie and MM - you are both pretty quick to judge on this. Have either or you attended Mrs. Morella's presentation? Maybe you should go to one at a high school and interview audience members to see how the message is received by the intended audience. "Cringe-inducing theater" might not be a bad thing if it keeps a few kids from killing themselves.

I have to say, I have mixed feelings about this woman. On one hand, I really believe kids need to be scared straight, but on the other, I don't want this boy exploited.

But if one life is saved from this unorthodox approach, then great. I remember vividly, the horrible drunk driving movies they showed in high school and it was enough to stay with me and make me think twice.

Poor woman should find something better to do with her time. And have more respect for her son. Live human beings who cannot talk should not be paraded around unable to defend themselves. The bottom line is that scare shows like this might have an effect on younger kids, but studies have shown they are entirely ineffective on older kids. And if she's so well-intentioned why is she charging $1800 a pop to put this on??

I tell my sons (ages 19 and 14) that this is all to real. Good for her. She loved her son the way he was. She wants others to wake up and realize that she lost her joyfulness. She is only trying to help others. Good for her.

This kid appears to have more of an ability to communicate then Terri Shavio did, yet her family was praised for dragging her image through the news. (Not by me, I thought that was terrible) At least in this case maybe some good can come out of a tragedy. Maybe knowing he's helping someone else avoid his mistake makes him happy. And $1800 a pop isn't a lot of money when you consider long term care expenses.

This kid appears to have more of an ability to communicate then Terri Shavio did, yet her family was praised for dragging her image through the news. (Not by me, I thought that was terrible) At least in this case maybe some good can come out of a tragedy. Maybe knowing he's helping someone else avoid his mistake makes him happy. And $1800 a pop isn't a lot of money when you consider long term care expenses for her son.

(This is a rough crowd today...)

Sorry for the double post - got distracted at work - the irony processing Long Term Care insurance policies.

I was disturbed by that too. Why does the kid need to be there? I think we all know what a paraplegic looks like, without having him in the room....

"The bottom line is that scare shows like this might have an effect on younger kids, but studies have shown they are entirely ineffective on older kids." That's interesting, if true.
I do some work at Kessler Rehabilitation and every time I leave I wonder how I could possibly relate any of it to my young son, when he is older. And frankly, I have been deeply deeply moved by a mother and son there...I don't really know where I stand on this particular issue- but I do know Baristanet rocks for getting it all out-

sigh...

I gotta say I agree with MM & Debbie on this one. What? A video of her taking care of the kid or some stills projected behind her aren't good enough? Do we really need to parade the poor guy like he is part of a freak show?

This woman is no better than the Shaivo (sp?) family. The kid messed up, but that's no reason to let him live without dignity for the rest of his life.

ok. Generically named Mike swayed me. It does seem bizarre. Not that I don't totally feel for this mother and her circumstance. Listen, I think you kind of lose your mind a bit in these tragic tragic situations-

It is possible the kid can communicate enough to agree with the whole thing. Maybe we should be less judgemental.

robin, reading spicoli's post right before yours made me think of those same drunk driving films from driver's ed, and then I saw your post.

I have to admit the images in those films stayed with me for a long time. But I can't say it had the same effect on others. Classmates actually named their band after one called "Mechanized Death". They rocked!

I can't say I like the idea of displaying this kid in such a way, but it may be a way for both of them to make something good out of something horrible. It may not work but is there any harm in giving kids a concrete example of what can happen.

I'm not sure that scare tactics will ever dissuade a teenager from experimenting with drugs. It might work temporarily but, for most teens, curiosity, brain chemistry, peer-pressure eventually win out.

I guess when an actual 'damaged' human being is on display, it will give most kids pause - for a few moments or days. After a period of time the shock will wear off and the temptation to use will return.

There probably isn't any reliable way to prevent drug usage. As long as they are available, people will use them, overdose on them and be harmed or even die from them.

Seems to me he's earning his keep. He's 19 years old, time to be in college, living in a dorm. Graduate, get a job, support himself, get an apartment and move out of the house. It seems highly unlikely he'll be doing that. Why? Because he did drugs. Not a couple of hits off a bong folks, but heroine. Chokes on vomit and becomes a burden to his family. I'm guessing he's working some government-assisted medical a/k/a your tax dollars.

The harsh reality is that his mom is probably pissed. Super pissed. I'd be, what a waste. She also now must take care of him during her life and arrange for someone else to do it after her death. Her rants probably help her to cope and to work through her anger. $1,800 is probably his mothly supply of Depends.

An added bonus is if it helps other kids stay away from drugs.

What's that old proverb about maybe your purpose in this life is just to serve as an example to others...

Would that all it took to convince people to do the right, sane thing was to show them the cost of not doing it. But we know that isn't how it works. We slow down and gawk at the wreck on the highway, and then speed up right afterwards. We indulge in all sorts of behaviours that we know are harmful, especially when we're young and invincible, thinking that it will never happen to us. I just have a problem with this kid being toted around from place to place like a non-performing seal in order to make a point -- even if the point is one worth making. He is a human being and he should have some say in this -- since that isn't physically possible, we can't assume that he is OK with it. I think that he deserves the dignity attendant with being left alone.

Agreed.

I got to thinking, if he was the victim of a farming accident or a hit-and-run, I don't know if I would feel as strongly about it. But he's the victim of a drug overdose which, like it or not in our society, still has a stigma attached to it. Plus, as many posters above point out, we really don't know if he has the mental faculties to agree to being used as a poster child for drug abuse. And, as Debbie, points out, it's not as if he has the power to say, "All right, Mother, enough, I am out of here."

There are other ways this mom can get her point across.

(Aside to SSPete: Mechanized Death did a cover of the Go Gos "We Got The Beat", right?)

Spot, it's all a bit hazy now, but I believe you are correct.

I never got into any heavy drugs in my youth, but it certainly was not due a "Scared Straight" program or the like. I understand the desire to help prevent kids from using drugs, and I saw the ugly ramifications of heroin while living in San Francisco, but I feel that fear has less to do with the decision to use or not to use than we think.

I hope that some day technology could reverse this family's tragedy, heroin addiction and even render heroin powerless with an antidote. What a miracle that would be. I believe that heroine is our world's most miserable plague. I could not blame or judge any mother's reaction to a child stricken by heroin...whatsoever.
Perhaps the son understands and wants to help his mother in her mission. If they can go around and scare people shitless....that's fabulous and may God bless them. If their exhibiting themselves saves at least one child from being delivered on a doorstep lifeless, or an individual, a family and neighbors from years of horror and misery, I thank them. I trust and admire DebbieG's intelligence and sensibility and I have never seen this "show" but I see this more as an extreme gesture of love.

A video of her taking care of the kid or some stills projected behind her aren't good enough?

I doubt a video would be as effective in challenging the false sense of invincibility that almost every kid has at that age. A video isn't "real life", and I doubt it would break down the wall of detachment between the subject matter and the audience. Seeing Jesse in the flesh brings home the tragic consequences of drug use to these kids in an up-close and personal way that a video can't.

Do we really need to parade the poor guy like he is part of a freak show?

Yes, in the sense that kids need to see that there are very real, and very horrible, consequences to some of the decisions they will make.

And no, it's not a freak show. The Terry Schiavo case was a freak show because her plight was shamelessly and opportunistically exploited to advance a political agenda, and she was both an unwitting and unwilling participant (she had no capacity to consent). This case is different. Jesse seems to be a willing participant, according to the Times article, and I see no ulterior motive for Maureen other than keeping other kids from ruining their lives and those of their families.

Frankgg, I just read your comments after I posted mine, and all I can say is, "right on".

I was at the high school presentation. Frankly, I don't like getting yelled at for other people's choices. She made some pretty heavy accusations in her speech, such as saying that if one of us (the students) accidentally overdosed on drugs, our friends wouldn't be there for us. On the contrary, we have had incidents where people might have died because of drugs and alcohol, yet it was because of friends that they're still with us.

Even if Jesse agreed to help save others, I can't really believe he wanted it done in the way his mother does it. Shouting at us for the choices we may or may not make. Shouting at him for the bad choice he made. He has to live with that for the rest of his life because of her speech. The only journey that Jesse is making is one of turmoil and blame.

I did talk to some of my friends about the speech afterward. Some were shaken up and planning to do something safe the following weekend. But a lot of people have the general opinion that her message is at best temporary. Teenagers are at the very least difficult to persuade away from things they want to do.

i'm with debbie on this one.

This shrill anti-drug stuff is getting out of hand. Am I alone in thinking it's going to backfire one of these days?

Sort of on this topic. Did anyone else go to the Montclair Public Schools here? Do you remember this movie - Cipher in the Snow?
We all saw it in Glenfield. If you were to ask any of us if we remember it - anyone would tell you yes, all these years later. It made a huge impression.

http://www.teenlit.com/teachers/cipherin.htm

You know, if I were a potential drug-using teen, I'd be less scared of being a quadriplegic than of being permanently dependent on my justifiably angry mother. This presentation has a double punch!

A parent who smokes, drinks, takes benzodiazepams, opiate pain killers, sleep aids, and God only knows what else will never be taken seriously by their children when they expound upon the 'evils' of drug use.

ackme, I did 2-12 in Montclair but I didn't see it. After reading from the link I think I would remember it as well.

ackme, I just came across this sad story on CNN.com after reading the link you sent. I can't imagine being that parent.

Very sad.

Perhaps it was a Glenfield thing. Now I'm being eaten alive by images of Steve Weinstein.

He was the principal right? Then he was principal at MHS after that?

Thank you Pork Roll, likewise...

Ummm....the kid's brain damage is a direct cause of vomit blocking the air passage. Not drugs. This could happen as a result of vomit from other causes. This is what bothers me...while I feel bad for both the mother and kid, it seems like a sensationalized freak show and I think it's pretty sad.

Put a real junkie with no teeth, yellow skin and their own story to tell, to get the point across. I don't like this lack of direct cause and effect.

This could happen as a result of vomit from other causes.

Let's say you get very drunk one night, and try to drive home. You smash into a tree and kill yourself, and thankfully, only yourself. The proximate cause of your death are the internal injuries you sustained when your car hit the tree, because in your drunken stupor you neglected to fasten your seatbelt.

Now, of course, you could have died a similar death by smashing into a tree while driving your car when you were sober, say perhaps because you lost control of your car while trying to avoid a squirrel. Or perhaps because some oblivious louse on a cell phone cut you off.

Yet are the hazards of driving drunk diminished simply because there are many other reasons that may cause you to crash your car and die? No, of course not. The odds of you crashing go up dramatically when you are drunk. Even if you get home safe one night, the more frequently you drive drunk, the more likely you are to eventually crash. This is why driving drunk is bad: the risk of causing harm to yourself or others goes up dramatically when you do it. And that's why so many schools have the corpses of wrecked cars on their front lawns - to remind kids how dangerous it is.

Same logic applies here. Yes, the direct cause of Jesse's brain damage was the oxygen deprivation cause by choking on his vomit, but what made him so ill in the first place? The heroin. Perhaps this could have been caused by a severe case of food poisoning instead, but in this case, it did not. It was the heroin. If Jesse had not snorted heroin that night, he would still be a healthy young man today. Doing drugs is bad for you, and the more you do it, the more likely you are to suffer unpleasant consequences. Just like drunk driving.

Jesse's presence delivers a pretty powerful message: doing heroin is SO bad that it can mess you up in ways you never even thought about. Yes, a junkie is the most obvious example, but a user becomes a junkie over time, and I suspect that kids like Jesse who dabble with heroin tell themselves that they're going to "just try it this time", or that they'll never let themselves get to the point of being a strung-out addict. Yeah, well guess what? One hit is all it takes to totally ruin your life.

Not to mention ruining the lives of your family and loved ones, who may be grief-stricken if you die, or saddled with your life-long care if you survive. Much like drunk driving, the drug epidemic inflicts a lot of collateral damage on families and communities.

Kids are playing Russian Roulette when they use this crap, and I think that is the message that Jesse's mother is trying to send. Maybe her tactics are too harsh for some, but I cannot fault her for her mission.

I feel terrible for any parent that has to endure the pain of a child with permanent impairment (have kids, worry? sometimes). I have to say that, when you try to quell the unbearable pain by preaching, it is ineffective. It will do nothing in the long run for either the healing of the parent (perhaps acceptance) or the kids on the receiving end. The dynamics of "escape" and "experimentation" are to interwoven with the persons own inner circle of family, temperament, genetics and other much more personal experiences for this to be anything but temporary. What did those totally wrecked cars in front of town buildings ever do about drunk driving? Especially for teens, they're invincible (in they're own minds). I wish this mother well, but she would do more good for her son by just taking care of him.

I might just add, even the D.A.R.E. program has been proven a bust. Many towns are either dropping it or not signing up.

Weinheimer at MHS, Frank Rennie at Glenfield. Mr. Rennie went on to the Rand School after Glenfield.

Steve was a freshman who was excellent at math, a human calculator. I still remember him.

"Weinheimer at MHS, Frank Rennie at Glenfield. Mr. Rennie"

I had them both too. I remember Steve Weinstein but my favorite MHS memory has to be The Dove. Anyone remember The Dove?

Ah right, Kurt Weinheimer was who I was thinking of.

I love Mr. Rennie. He was at Rand when I was working tech and doing productions at SPA. He helped me through some tough times.

no hrh, who or what was The Dove?

OMG who could forget the Dove! His snazzy white suit and messages of peace. What was his catch phrase? "Your future is now?" I wonder if he's still out there performing. Maybe I can book him for a party.

SSPete - you're either too old or not old enough my friend.

No - I've got it ... THIS IS YOUR DAY!!! - The Dove

I imagine I'm too old. I was class of 86.

AS class of 74, I would appreciate "right timeframe"

"who or what was The Dove"

The Dove was a gospel styled motivational speaker who came to MHS one day. I never have had a clue what the message was, but I will never forget that performance, and it even unified the students in a weird way. We went back to our cliques and teen angst but 'We Love The Dove' became a mantra.

Sorry Duck, not of the right timeframe.

Alas, you missed the Dove by 1 or 2 short years. I will try and find him and rent out upstairs at Tierney's so everyone can enjoy him. This is your day.

Now wait, that means his visits came before I was there in the 70s, but also after I left in the late 80s? I guess his visits were frequent. Damn, I feel jipped!I'll have to ask some friends in my class if they remember him.

Spot, you were a product of the MTC schools. You remeber this guy?

No, no, no, the Dove was a one time phenomenon as far as I know. He blessed the MHS auditorium in his white suited glory in 1987 I think.

1987 sounds about right - but I'll have to check my yearbook to be sure. The Dove was popular enough to get a few mentions on people yearbook pages as well as in peoples messages to me. We Love The Dove.

I'm amazed at this post. I can't believe the ignorance of some of you. Have any of you met the mom or son before you pass judgement on them. Do you realize there are other ways to communicate even if you can't speak? You're praising Debbie for telling it like it is, you have to be kidding me. How does Debbie know what it is. Has she met the mom or son? Ackme, I'm guessing you're a very bitter person that you can make fun of someone who's disabled.

This blog really makes me sick. Maureen is one of the nicest individuals who has never done anything but cared for others. She is trying to make the best of a situation that, correct me if I'm wrong, all of you wouldn't understand because you have never been in it. I am her niece and know that her life has not just been a "walk in the park" since this all happened...and for you all the sit here behind your keyboards and criticize her for what she does? Have some mercy and stop being so ignorant. I would never wish her family's situation upon anyone, but I really do hope that those who are agreeing with this rude and iconsiderate woman get a serious reality check. Debbie you should focus your energy towards something more useful because if you even had done as little as just spoken to her you would have never written this.

Wow, I am just catching up on my bnet reading and I have to say Deb's article has a lot of assumptions going on.

Who are you Deb to speak for this kid and/or his mother and then pronounce judgement?

What qualifies Deb Galant to judge what this mother is "doing" to her child?

This is precisely the kind of divisive anti-community "snark" which, sadly, Deb is infamous for.

and then at the end what is this:

"Maybe. I sure like it when my mom tells me about my stupid mistakes. I'm sure I'd love it even more if I couldn't walk out of the room."

A pathetic attempt at humor at this kid's expense.

So let me get this straight, this mother is trying to help others due to the misfortune of her son and Deb criticizes her and THEN makes a cheap joke about the kid.

nice going.

You're really a piece of work sometimes.

If this family says he understands enough to give his consent in a non-verbal way, you know what? We should believe them until you've been in the same situation.

I noticed all the people who were so critical in the beginning of this thread, have disappeared. What's wrong Miss Martta or Mets2008, you have nothing to say? Did either of you ever talk to the mom or even meet her? Walnutter, what were you thinking with that comment?

I have nothing left to say, Med. I said what I needed to say and I still stand by it.

MM "you've seen this type before?" what type is that? I'm assuming you've met Maureen since you know her "type". Of course you stand by it, you'll never admit you're wrong. Are you that ignorant?