Keeping Up with the Meghans

Duh!!!

How else are we to get the little ones to love us?

I begged my mom for one of these but all I got were some 'irregular' Chuck Taylor Converse all-stars.

How about we didn't take them to Disney at all!!?? Why go to a place designed to sell you more crap?

My vacations as a kid involved going to Philly to sweat it out in my Nana's third story walk up and laying on the floor reading. The big treat was taking the trolley to Wanamakers!

My kids get their fair share of crap, but not nearly in the kind of excess I see in their peers. The little one never had a "Barbie Car." The 17 year old won't have his own car either.

Maybe someone should call DYFS!

Melissa Rayworth lives in Pittsburgh? (I read her online article.) How does that make her one of Baristaville's "own" even by the widest definition of "outer" Baristaville?

Oy, as someone whose coaching business is based on getting kids of all ages to "think of others first" I must admit, this is a tough concept for me to swallow. And in this age of wretched excess and entitlement, I have to hope that the basic ideas will make more sense, than "stuff".

USA Today wrote recently about the ?Back To Basics Trends? for 2008 suggesting that this year may see a resurgence of basic civility and manners. Could it be because the party's over? I recall after 9/11 everyone was oddly kind and forgiving, but that lasted for about 2 weeks, then the mood back slid to darned-near fistacuffs in the WholeFoods parking lot. Ah, brotherhood, community. It was good while it lasted. Why does it always take tragedy or crisis to bring out our humanity?

To me, good social skills have always been the way for people to be more successful in life, both personally and professionally. If we treat people with respect and know how to get along with others, we tend to get more of what we want and less of what we don?t want. By that I mean, more quality realtionships and meaning into our lives, and less "stuff" which doesn't last anyway.

Of course, as Eckhart Tolle argues, there isn't anything wrong with stuff (I personally like "stuff"!) The problem arises when your ego needs to acquire more stuff to complete the Self. Wrong answer. It's like a gravitational pull of consumerism from your ego to all the phones, gadgets and granite counter tops that make you think they complete who you are. Of course you don't do it consciously, but just wait and see the reaction you get when you tell your kid, that's it, no more iPod Nano; or mom, that's it, we're downsizing to a less grand neighborhood, or home.

If we begin to remove the ego and the stuff that feeds it, we will be happier. As the Buddhists teach: All the rest just brings suffering.

I've come to believe that baristaville cannot be bound to that "old, geographic" way of thinking, cathar.

Baristaville is a state of mind!

Therefore, all stories that "touch" parts of Baristaville are relevant.

Here, spoiling kids.

Tomorrow, gardening in the Himalayas because we loves us some gardening.

(And why I'm waiting on a post about this:

Does that mean, prof, that you in fact teach something like "hairpin auto mechanics" at a community night school in Wisconsin?

Slow pitch softball is wonderful. Prof delivers a fat one right across the plate and Cathar knocks it out of the park.

(Ignore my last line. Forgot to delete.)

cathar,

You got me. Damn.

And Arthur Fonzerelli was my most famous student.

Melissa, who used to live in Montclair, still approves the Baristanet events calendar and writes our weekend roundups.

Cathar, you have a problem with Wisconsin?

Consumerism has grown exponentially in recent generations, so the number of "opportunities" to spend has also risen. You can't blame the other parent, its a cultural trend that won't reverse or correct itself as far as I can see. Its no different with adults comparing themselves with their neighbors, co-workers and professional counterparts, and (eek!) celebrities: someone will always have the bigger, better, faster, more expensive thing, and that fuels the drive to either envy or loathe the person for it. Best advice is to get confident in your financial position and make reasonable choices and concessions. And just politely smile at the guy who has more than you!

Just say No.
No manicures, no pedicures, no brow waxing (unless your kid is uber hairy, then please wax it), no expensive purses, no $100+ jeans, no cell phones. No excessive sweet sixteen parties or communion parties or birthday parties with ponies and inflatable moon walks. And you wonder why they feel entitled. No one says NO.

I was not allowed to have a walkman. my mother said it would ruin my hearing - she was right!

When I was growing up, I was the only girl in the hood with a life-size anatomically correct Ken doll. He was about 6'0 tall, 44C, 32W, and about 8 inches to everyone's surprise.

Now girlfriends, try and keep up with that!

Laura - I hope that was a "Frogman Ken" with the full wet suit.

Prof, you are the sweetest-tempered debate partner I've ever come across on this site. God bless you for that.

"Of course, as Eckhart Tolle argues, there isn't anything wrong with stuff."

To misquote George Carlin, "Stuff is 'Shit' with two effs."

(Full disclosure: I did help buy a Peg Parego 12-volt Volkswagen ride-on for all four of my son's kids. They were 4 through 10 at the time, and my reasoning was that they might as well learn to crash at 5 MPH before it happens to them at 50 MPH. They did. :))

When I was a younger man I gathered stuff.
Now I'm ridding myself of stuff.

I grew up in a tiny town in the south, where herds of parents compete over who has better non-permissive tactics. Every person in the community over the age of 20 would focus his or her stinkiest glance on the kids who showed off their expensive ephemera.
I can't understand or communicate just how the parents felt--having never been a parent myself--but I can say that the biggest excess we kids had access to was guilt.
The home environment in the south--in my experiences, anyway--is much less open to an honest communication of feelings and concerns between parents and children. Baristavillians may be spoiling their kids with growing piles of needless accessories, but I think the kids usually see the message behind the gifts: their parents clearly care about their success and their safety.
I was certainly not deprived growing up in the south. I had everything I needed, yet little that I wanted. As an adult, I have terrible spending habits. My apartment is filled with junk I don't need. I think it's my way of acting out against the disciplined restraint I experienced as a child. Is this a consequence of not being spoiled? If so, the lessons of my parents and my childhood community only made me delay my gratification. Now I am spending myself into debt to satisfy my valueless wont for indulgence. Somewhere along the line of my maturation, the values I was intended to adopt must have been lost.