First Lemonade Stand of the Season

Wow, lemonade is still selling for 25 cents? The one area not affected by inflation! Of course, now it'll go up 200% . . . .

That is absolutely heartwarming.

Me an a bunch of buddies had a lemonade stand on the boulevard in Harvey Cedars(LBI) back in '91. Since we had no liquor licence, we gave out "complementary" tequila shots with every purchase of lemonade. The mayor of Harvey Cedars was not impressed,and he called the cops to shut us down. The cops on both sides of the island thought it was great.

Aww, little capitalists.

Why they chose Glen Ridge

The kids tried to open the stand in Montclair.

The first thing they did was call on the Planning Department, but when Planning found out where they wanted to put the stand they told the kids it was a
Redevelopment Zone and they'd need to file a plan and go before the board.

Then the Health Department found out about it and wanted to know if they were using a Certified Kitchen.

Then the building department found out about it and wanted $54 for a permit and said
they wouldn't be able to inspect it until November.

Then Joyce found out about it and wanted to know how many parking spots they planned on
having.

Then the Sierra Club found out about it and wanted to know if the lemonade came from renewable resources.

When Ted found out about
it, he said the Town couldn't have a Lemonade Stand without competitive bidding and he threatened to sue.

So they moved to Glen Ridge.

Too funny Montclair.Mommy!!!Thanks for the laugh!

Best post of the day!

Of course, had this been in Montclair they would have investigated and found out that the venture was sponsored by the BOE.

They would find out that in addition to the "reported" $5.25 there was also a "separate account" that contained $146.

They would also have found an
escrow account containing $136,000 to be used to settle employee claims if the stand ever went out of business.

If it did go out of business, since the kids had worked there for 1 day, they would have tenure and they would then be promoted.

You forgot Township Attorney, Trembulak told them they couldn't have a stand on the front lawn more than 30 days before the start of summer (though some residents later brought it to his attention that it was not constitutional and Joe Hartnett had to put out a memo advising that the town was researching this ordinance).

And you forgot that they couldn't get permission from Dick G. to set up on Church Street in front of one of his buildings.

And you forgot that they couldn't get permission from Dick G. to set up on Church Street in front of one of his buildings.

Or that they had to open up the area to 11 other lemonade stands, share a common driveway, and none of the structures could face the street.

All very plausible!

And then, if it were BOE sponsored, they would rip out the lawn and put in artificial turf.

The project would be estimated to come in at $211
but would actually cost $234,000 since the $211 was only an "architect's estimate."

They would then want to have lights so they could sell lemonade at night, and a full time fitness trainer so the
kids could learn how to properly pick up the lemonade pitcher.

When investigated by the Montclair Times the kids would say "The State made us do it!"

But that would all take place before the consultant that Hartnett had hired, at $90,000.00 to research the constitutionality came back with his report.

I'm surprised no one mentioned the need for a lemonade authority.

Thank you!

That was coming next along with the Lollypop Guild.

When an archeological consutlant discovered skeletal remains from a 19th-century lemonade stand buried underneath the driveway, the kids were forced to sell their business--but not before transferring their lemonade license to the Rosen group for a quick 6-figure windfall.

things really got ugly when radon was discovered under the site.

They obviously need a better sign. One that is green and lights up at night is preferred. I mean, how else will people find our lemonade stand at night when it is closed?

Oh, and a fancy new logo, perhaps with a lopsided E for quirkiness.

But first, they have to hire a signage consultant, for about $125,000.

Oh no! Someone better tell them to hide the skateboard before that becomes part of the equation....and if someone purchases and demolishes the house, can they move the lemonade stand?

Didn't they check with the architectural review board on the design?

....seeing a lemonade stand in Baristaville 2008 is very heartwarming and I wish good luck to these kids....and VIVA lemonade stands in Baristaville....forever!!!!

I tried a galss of this lemonade yesterday. Very unsatisfying experience.
First, the lemons were domestically produced. I much prefer Israeli lemons, for as we know the arid conditions in the Jordan valley allow for optimum cultivation.
Second, the sugar was processed. For someone like me, with allergies and sucrose intolerance, this could be a potential killer! I should have been warned or given a non-processed substitute.
Third, the kid on the left with the skateboard gave me a lot of attitude. If you're in the service business, junior, you'd better learn how to kiss ass. My ass.
Fourth, they did not accept Amex or any type of plastic. When I tried to pay with a fifty, well, see #3.
Finally, there was no parking.
When I lived in Park Slope I had much better lemonade experiences. I don't know how much longer I'll stay in Montclair if this is how it is going to be.

The skateboard is fine since it's Glen Ridge and they have a skatepark.

Were it Montclair the poor kids would have been handcuffed, arrested, skateboard conficated as "evidence", booked, arrainged and now have to hire an attorney to defend himself in court.

Thousands of dollars later and he'd be scarred for life.

(this scenario is based an a real life experience)

Jeez cro,

Now you're ripping off other posts.

Yesterday Montclair.Mommy wrote a great post detailing what happen to this stand in Montclair.

And now, here you come running up with a bucket of water after the fire is out with the same (but not as funny) post...

Clearly, Montclair.Mommy is JK Rowling to your Steven Vander Ark.

prof, while I'm flattered that you're stalking me, here's the deal.
I read mommy's post. It's on this thread. It was funny. It was a play on the bureaucratic nonsense that is so much a part of Montclair. Mine had more to do with a certain "type" that resides here. So they are really not at all alike, save for inspiration.
I am not surprised, given your history here, that you don't see a difference. Yet one more reason to thank the gods that my kids were never in your "class".
If you don't think my post was funny well, am I supposed to give a damn?

Prof and Cathar sitting in a tree...

See cro reading Montclair.Mommy...

See cro bite, vic and just plain steal off of Montclair.Mommy...

See cro claim he was just "inspired by" her...

See cro caught....

See cro finding a difference where none exists.

And how do you know I didn't teach your kids?

(But first, tell us. What is that thing on your head?)

prof, I know that you didn't teach my kids because I don't think you could spell, let alone work at, the schools they attended.
And, they can form plurals.
By the way, how do YOU know that I'm not montclair mommy?
But really, who gives a feck, as we say? About the post. Or, for that matter, about you?
That thing on my head? Its a caipin iontach. but you have to be a H&IC to wear one.
Do you fit the description?

Cro's post was very funny. Prof must be having a bad day.

I think this whole thread is funny.

The prof IS a bad day.

(cro in tough guy mode. Alas, it is very unappealing. Unlike say, cathar who frequently tosses fun my way by using great wit and words, you son continue to go right to boring personal attacks. No fun. Not even a little bit.)

Cro, and world, to prof:
(Yawn.)

prof. u sound like an old man who should draw bridge the craftmatic; and take a nap

This thread was funny until Prof got involved....

thanks.