Red Cheetah Goes Bare

Greeeaaatttt... First Grabowski decides to open that place and now I just saw that this is coming to Baristaville.

I can't wait for the next headline

Cathar devotes life to charitable causes and expresses remorse for past postings...

But cathar lives in Clifton and is closer to Little Falls. Where will we all park to go see this venue?

Will Ted Mattox hold his next "Listening Night" here and rename it "Touchy Feely Night?"

The Chopshop! Or perhaps Slumgullion's.

And please tell Dick Grabowsky, whom I think is a very nice man, thanks for me. Dingo's Den on Van Houten in Clifton, by the way for the curious, is another local bikie watering hole.

(April Fool's Day helps ease the pain of a slow news fortnight, eh? I really am surprised no posters filed reports from those two political parties last weekend.)

This is either a very good April fools joke or we are in for a total collapse of society as we know it. Now when all the crooks need to stock up on ammo on their way to rob someone they can just stop by and reload. Maybe the police should just park a cruiser out front 24/7.

sign me up as client #9...i want a pass to the VIP tent. "hey, do you have any ladies that look like Nancy Pelosi??

My dream charitable cause, TwinkleToes and Montclair Mommy, is a rehab facility for liberals. Preferably situated somewhere which is the antithesis of Baristaville. Camden, say. Or Marcus Hook, PA.

cathar,

Is that where you've been cruising lately? What have you been picking up (hope for your sake that it can be cured with penicillen or some other drug)

Iceman, that bit about Pelosi was nicely put, and I of course immediately recalled the brothel in "LA Confidential."

why, were you there too?

Since I've had no contact with either you or members of your (large, I'm sure) immediate family, Montclair Mommy, my own kidneys are fine, thank you very much. And yours? I'd watch the UTI, ma'am.

Cathar,

You kidneys may be fine but does your liver quiver?

Booze, Broads, & Bullets.

And what the F* is wrong with Urban Outfitters? It's just a clothing store, isn't it?

Well, yes, Montclair... (whom I'm sure has posted here under other names), I was at that brothel. I in fact asked for the clone of the "Sea Hag" from the Popeye Strip. They said they'd pensioned you off, not enough demand from sailors.

I remember when all your "contact" was anonymous and in Riverside Park.

As my old grandma would say "you're a rag on every bush"!

shall we refer to "hin" as Wildthing from now on?

It wasn't THAT anonymous, "Mom." Since I recognized both you and all your fellow family members squatting right there in the bushes. Were you trying then to make fire by rubbing sticks together?

As my old granny did say, venereal diseases are contagious. But the family-spread variety, like you suffer from, just keeps giving and giving, don't it?

Y'all have a nice, saltpetre'd kind of day anyway, lass.

Ha! Good one, Cathar. Then we can have a chorus of liberals singing, "I don't wanna go to rehab, I said, no, no, no!" Plum Island would also make a nice locale for such a center.

Sorry cathar,

You got my name wrong and should have asked for the owner of the Golden Palace Of The Himalayas.

They would have told you that I was long gone and had only been there to get my xxxx licked.

I remember that old saying "why go across the street when you can go across the hall...".

Quite true cathar since everyone at Columbia knew what you were up to.

Turning catholic and constant confession under the watchful eyes and thumbs of father guido didn't help I see.

I'm an orphan so I have no family for you to insult.

Did you every get those rather large growths on your netheparts taken care of?

cathar chose the short walk to the park where every bush held the possibility of another enoucnter of the "whatever" kind.

OK OK....APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

"Did you every get those rather large growths on your netheparts taken care of?"

Ahem...those ARE his netherparts.

No No, his netherparts were small an illformed.

The growths were massive and were documented at the school medical office. On eof the growths even looked like Richard Nixon.

"One of the growths even looked like Richard Nixon."

Ahem...that WAS Richard Nixon.

Well, there certainly are fools posting here today.

But it's getting boring, gang. It's certainly not witty or purposeful. Besides, I recognize "the lot" of you from other posts under other names. Again, take your saltpetre and then go lie down with, uh, each other.

(This is such a class site on days like this, it speaks so well of Baristaville in general....)

I love when rethuglicans use the word liberal pejoratively.

lib?er?al /ˈlɪbərəl, ˈlɪbrəl/ [lib-er-uhl, lib-ruhl]
?adjective
1. favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.
2. (often initial capital letter) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.
3. of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism.
4. favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.
5. favoring or permitting freedom of action, esp. with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers.
6. of or pertaining to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies.
7. free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners.
8. open-minded or tolerant, esp. free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.
9. characterized by generosity and willingness to give in large amounts: a liberal donor.
10. given freely or abundantly; generous: a liberal donation.
11. not strict or rigorous; free; not literal: a liberal interpretation of a rule.
12. of, pertaining to, or based on the liberal arts.
13. of, pertaining to, or befitting a freeman.
?noun
14. a person of liberal principles or views, esp. in politics or religion.
15. (often initial capital letter) a member of a liberal party in politics, esp. of the Liberal party in Great Britain.

Can I make a request? That we declare this day a day of exuberance and wit? It's been too long since we've had a rousing rabble posting here. I'm willing to make the effort. I know I can count on cathar and the prof, who lord knows has been killing himself keeping the ball in the air lately. What about appletony, where are you? Surely your clients can foot the bill for a few tirades. And where did ROC go? And dare I hope for a cameo by Pammmela, after our slavering over her new site yesterday? (I just finished a nice cup of D&D.) Perhaps lasermikeypooh can break free from his moral crusades to serve as punching bag? Come on, what do you say?

We recognize you too cathar. The growth that looks like tricky dick was a dead-on giveaway.

I'm surprised that you never had it removed, your football brethren still talk about it and wonder if it was areaction to all of the partners that you were dancing with and catching passes with.

I agree it's not "purposeful" to be out there that way.

haha! Thanks for the Aprils Fool cheer Barista's. But this may be the best story of the day because it mentions one of the biggest jokes around.

*waves over the fence to Clifton*

thank god, now we don't have to schlep into nyc for some quality entertainment.

.... my condo's resale value just flashed before my eyes....

I thought we already had this in Montclair.

I'd prefer this to the Seven Eleven.

I was only there once and they played the WORST music. 20-year-old disco is just not cutting edge.

This would be the equivalent of the Diva Lounge with a different demographic.

Phil Cantor is a talented, talented man. Bravo!

Thanks for the kind words...Dick G is my landlord, so I cracked up when I saw his marquee...I knew it had to be on Baristanet.
PHIL