It's Not Just Which Fork to Use

Talk about arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Lisa put me on her mailing list and refuses to take me off.

Beware of asking for information from her. Beware Beware.

"...but after this class, they'll know the difference between 'American and European dining styles,' whatever that is."

In the mansions and manors, it means in which hand you hold your fork while cutting and eating, and how you use the knife to place the food on the fork.

In street language, it means the ability to cut someone three ways: deep, wide, and frequently.

Let's start with morals, and work our way up to etiquette.

Oh, please. What is wrong with you people? Paint the whole city of Newark with a single bloody brush?

This is pretty stupid. I go with the Titanic comment from above. If you have her on an e-mail list, make sure she is a bcc or you'll regret it.

"Paint the whole city of Newark with a single bloody brush?"

Not really. But I think it's safe to say that the citizens of Newark have bigger problems than knowing which fork to use for dessert.

Stupid, Cheese? But falling somewhat short of the lofty standard of retarded?

Walleroo, I was on the fence. I could go with retarded just as easily. Just give me a push...

The class will heighten awareness and appreciation of basic manners and dining skills in daily life by teaching handshakes, public behavior, and basic telephone skills.

They really need to work on the phone skills and social interaction part... the dining skills, not so much.

This is admirable, but I'm guessing the people who need these lessons the most are the least likely to attend (or show up for the free meal and not retain any of the class).

There are several people in my company who speak, if not dress, like they still live on the mean-streets of Newark and guess who most of the Customer Service complaints are about.

Later this summer, I expect all car thieves to leave a polite note behind (thank you sir for your BMW!).

Seriously, if Mayor Booker truly wants to elevate his city's resident's social etiquette, this type of class should be required for high school graduation. And considering the number of high school dropouts there are, maybe requiring it at the 8th grade level might be more prudent.

For this one, I suggest first belting the little creeps, then afterwards teaching them both which fork to use and how to make a shiv out of plastic "cutlery." Always with an eye towards practical applications. And have there ever really been "five-star dinners" in Newark? Certainly not at either Tony Imperiale's or Amiri Baraka's houses.

And if anyone's ever messed with a platoon of hungry French soldiers, as I did once during a joint training exercise while in the Army, you already know that "European dining styles" can be a great deal more slobbish than their New WOrld cousins.

But the plugs here for seemingly doomed ventures never cease, do they?

There's more...

"Guest lecturers for all three sessions will include former Newark Mayor Sharpe James, who will help students heighten their awareness and appreciation of basic manners and dining skills in daily life by teaching handshakes in a manner that will allow them to simultaneously shake hands while exchanging large cash bribes unnoticed; public behavior--so that students can learn to appear nonplussed in public while being the targets of federal investigations; and basic telephone skills--all the skills necessary to rig city land deals and book junkets to exotic locales over the phone."

Reqlly well done (to a finely roasted turn) post above, complainerpuss.

Yes, it made me chuckle out loud!

Maybe, those Montclair residents that posted Vote for Corey signs should hand out fliers door to door to support his idea.

You can perfume the pig all you want, but it's still a pig.

Don't talk about Lisa Finian like that.

I'm really shocked by the comments that were made here. Let me introduce myself by saying I'm the author of the article posted in HuffPo, the President and Founder of SocialSmarts, and Lisa Finan is one of my company's Account Reps -- specifically for the NE region.

I fail to understand how you folks can criticize and comment on something -- our program -- of which you know NOTHING. To be specific, SocialSmarts and PoliteChild courses are NOT an etiquette program like you all seem to assume. We're NOT about teaching foo-foo manners without any substance behind it. Nor is the Newark program just about whether or not pinkies should be kept elevated when drinking your fine and overly-priced tea.

C'mon guys...what we are all about is re-civilizing our youth, helping them understand why good SOCIAL SKILLS will make their lives easier, kinder, make our communities safer and more courteous in the process. Does anyone have a PROBLEM with that?

Would it be a GOOD thing to eliminate bullying as our program has done in schools, or improve teacher, student and staff morale? How about improving the quality of education -- academic achievement improves in schools where our program is in place.

Let me reframe this for the poster who claimed we're just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. No, ma'am, let's put it more like this: we're putting LIFEBOATS on the Titanic so that everyone has a chance to be safe, live a long and happy life.

If you don't think THAT is worthwhile, then I've misjudged this group.

Corinne,

Let me be the first to ask if you've ever actually been to a Newark public high school and witnessed the terror that some of these "children" put their teachers through on a regular basis.

Good luck with your program, and if it actually makes a difference I'll be among the first to congratulate you.

But, the old adage about leading a horse to water vs. your ability to make it drink comes to mind.

Like I said above: I'm guessing the people who need these lessons the most are the least likely to attend (or show up for the free meal and not retain any of the class).

Dear Generically:

Newark High...no. But, trust me, it's not much different in Arkansas, Georgia, Oregon, Indio CA -- where there's lots of the same stuff going on.

I will not say we will fix 100% of the problems, but I do know the program tips the scales so the MAJORITY of the kids "get" that this way gets you more of what you want, more easily, and a lot less of what you don't want. And, that it's "pay me now or pay me later."

And, as you point out, if you make it an elective, the people who attend are the ones who already understand the importance. That's why the all-school, core curriculum solution is so powerful. EVERYONE gets the same lessons, and the same chance to learn and practice them. THAT's why it works so well! The ones who need it the most are just as exposed as the ones who need it less. And the behavior and character rules and expectations are the same for everyone.

Guess we won't know how well it works if we don't try, huh?

"Meeting grown-ups is weird," says Corinne Gregory, president and founder of PoliteChild, a program in Woodinville, Washington, that teaches children the fundamentals of good character.

Apparently, she's an expert on grown-ups too.

Reeks of Scarlett O'Hara to me...or maybe Rudyard Kipling?

And people have tried this in the past...for many years. I recall etiquette lessons when I was a kid in the 70s in a working-class enclave. (My mother, who leaned more toward Betty Friedan than Pat Boone, refused to send me!)

Seems to me that many of the rules of "polite" society, such as children will not speak unless spoken to, and women must speak in low tones are best left to the past.