As of this morning, there were 130 responses to yesterday's "Noisy Neighbors" post, a few of which chided "Sleepless in Montclair" for various points in his original letter. He wrote back with answers to everything.
WOW – I guess we hit a nerve and BLESS YOU to the people who answered our question because, truly, we weren't leading the witness ... we WANTED community feedback and I think we got some honest responses. That is the best part of this website and love that we have access to such a great and immediate tool for something like this.That said, sounds like we need to answer some questions and speak to our "critics" - which, THANK YOU Spicoli, this was my favorite posting: Interesting that many jump all over the person posing the question rather than answering it. The question presented is: "how late is too late to be outside in your yard or front porch at night being loud in Montclair."
But to be fair and answer the question, of course - we have obviously tried civil conversation with the neighbor (sure, I regret to say that we have lost our temper on occasion, too, and am not proud). Their most recent response left no doubt as to their position: They believe that they have the right to be outside, as loud as they want - front yard or back porch - "until midnight on a Sunday seems reasonable to me." That is an exact quote from and was not said with any hostility, simply stating their opinion. So I wanted to take the question to the people of Baristanet and all your feedback has been enormously helpful (you feel so alone in a situation like this, it is comforting to know we actually aren't). To that point, yes - we know that other neighbors have called the cops, but the proximity of the noise - literally - right outside ours and our young childrens' bedrooms - puts us in the direct line of fire. (I think it is irrelevant for the readers as it has been for our neighbors, but both our toddlers are simply woken out of sleep virtually every night that this happens. As our neighbor said, "You know, our kids were young once, too.")To that point, to my friend to accurately pointed out that statistics can be made up on the spot, yes - it was four times this week. Maybe only two last week. I think there may even been a week in the past two years when they went inside by 9:30pm. I exaggerated and I am sorry to do so. That said, I cannot recall a single week since we moved in when they haven't been outside late at all, most weeks it is two, but this summer has been more like four or more (we pray for rain which sometimes helps, but their porch is covered).
And my apologies if there was a hint of "self-righteousness," but that is part of my original question - by paying a certain price for a certain home on a certain block in a Montclair - is it wrong to expect that quiet will be the norm after a certain hour? Again, not leading the witness here - were we just being naive or are we actually being snobs even daring to ask such a question? Are there other towns I can move to where this behavior would be less accepted? We are truly considering moving because our kids need their sleep (yes, of course we have "tried everything" to muffle the noise), so is there any sure-proof way to avoid this again? I am guessing there isn't, but I also think our situation is pretty rare.
And to the question someone asked "why does our right to silence trump their right to party" - again, that is my question. DOES it? If it doesn't and they have the "right" to be outside, being loud "until midnight," then I have nothing to complain about.
Obviously, this is hardly an anonymous post - the neighbors know who they are and probably can't believe I posted this and the cops know as we give our name when we call (and while some have been fantastic, most get VERY annoyed with us for calling, show up to talk to the neighbor, then leave while allowing the party to grow in size and noise). Since last night's conversation was left, as my neighbor put it, a "simple difference of opinion," that was really my big question ... is this truly just a matter of preference or are might one of us actually be "right?"
While it hurts to see some people "jump all over" us, we really appreciate most people being so understanding. BRIT, yours was the best quote of all: Until you have lived next door to loud, rude and littering neighbors, you have no idea. You obviously DO have some idea and we can't thank you enough.
And the Barista has another question to add. If "Sleepless" decided to move, would he be obligated to warn potential buyers about the reason?
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These people may have the right to be outside but they have no right whatsoever to make loud disturbing noises.
Their behavior is crass and narcissistic. They have no sense of neighborhood.
My neighbors would never do this to me. My neighbors have class. These people have none.