Turkey Malarkey: Where to Buy One, Fresh or Frozen

I'm a turkey snob, and the very best ones I've ordered year after year are from Rosario's. The birds are from a local organic farm. Call now and the owner still might be able to get you one:

Rosario's Butcher Shop
252 Park St
Montclair, NJ 07043
(973) 655-0999

Yummy...I sometimes think I enjoy eating the leftovers more on Friday than I do the actual Thanksgiving dinner.

What? The tofurky gets no love?

Corrado's (along with a few Muslim butcher shops in Paterson) actually has halal turkeys. A bit of a jolt, I know, but last year it proved a pleasant one once I added a maple-chipotle-pomegranate glaze to a brined version.

No one, however, should have to buy a brined turkey. It's quite easy to brine the darned thing yourself.

Fresh goose is usually about $3.99 a lb. in local stores. That might elate the fiercest of local Dickensians, but a little goose usually proves almost too much for most diners. Even ten pounds of goose is generally too much unless you have a turkey on the side.

"What? The tofurky gets no love?"

No.

I'm a Rosario's fan as well. The chains are obviously cheaper, but if you can handle 3.99/lb or so for a free range and organic turkey, it's great to support one of our fine local merchants.

Martha Stewart is selling turkeys now? I know her Westport home is on Turkey Hill Road, but other than that there cannot be a connection. Why pay more for a product with her name on it since it's probably from one of the other major brands anyway. Fresh and free range is the best. Cathar, I save the goose for Christmas. Love the wing when it's really well roasted and crackly.

I've never tried Tofurkey, but when I ate meat, I wasn't a fan of real turkey at Thanksgiving either. Here's what I'm down with at Thanksgiving dinner, in case you're having a vegetarian over this year and you don't know what to do:
-Pumpkin or squash ravioli in a buttery brown sage sauce (ooooh yeeeaaaahhh) - You don't even have to make it from scratch, pick some up at Whole Foods.
-Mashed Potatoes with butter (or, if you're feeling generous, mushroom gravy)
-Real cranberry sauce, not that crap from a can.
-Vegetarian stuffing
-Some kind of greens, like kale in garlic & olive oil, super easy to make

Basically the only thing you need to cook specifically for the vegetarian is a good Autumn pasta dish, and the stuffing (just save some on the side instead of sticking it in the turkey). But this is Montclair, so I'm sure you've all got it planned out for the vegetarians already.

Now I'm HUNGRY!

Better yet, I'll send the vegetarians over to your house, and pick them up when the rest of us are done tearing the turkey limb from limb.

That seems best for all.

For the past three years, I've bought a cooked turkey form Whole Foods. I feel like with the tukey out of the way, I can focus on the sides and dessert --things I love best anyway.

Martha, this area's very own Martha, jerseygurl, has been selling turkeys with her married name (which, oddly, she retained despite all the years of rancor with her ex) on them for some years. I cannot ever imagine the Kostyras of Nutley dining contentedly on one, however.

You and those annoying Cratchits (is there anyone more deserving of a swat to the head than Tiny Tim?)are much welcome to your goose on Christmas too, jg. I've tried to recreate "A Christmas Carol" a few times myself, decided it's not worth it in terms of taste.

But the best seasonal meats and geese, done up the old country way, along with spiced cabbage and other treats, come from the Hungarian-American Meat Market on Dayton Avenue in Passaic (and there's also usually a 10% coupon in the store's ads in Clifton Merchant magazine.) There, I've given up a good holiday secret for everyone's benefit.

And were I having either a vegetarian or a vegan over for Thanksgiving, I'd sooner waterboard him or her than besmirch the memory of brave Pilgrim forefathers like Standish, Bradford and Alden (let alone Amerind leaders like Squanto and Massasoit)by letting someone get away with not having at least a good taste of the bird Ben Franklin wanted for our national symbol.

What! no turducken?

Oh the HOROR!!!!

Forcing meat on a vegetarian.

Oh, wait.

It's your house, you can do what you want?

Well, you're insensitive to OTHERS!!!

A proper guest, I dare say, would follow Rivers Cuomo of Weezer's lead when he sings in their great new song, "I want you to":

"Your mom cooked meatloaf even though I don’t eat meat.
I dug you so much I took some for the team."

Christmas goose is delicious, Cathar. Especially when served with red cabbage and Viennese style bread dumplings with dill gravy. Along with a little plum sauce. For the vegetarians at the Thanksgiving table, there is plenty of food. In addition to the baked sweet potatoes, fresh cranberry sauce (we mix it with homemade raspberry jam to sweeten), beans, salad, and stuffing cooked out of the bird, there should be enough to sate anyone.

Fun aside, the best thing about Thanksgiving is the everyone celebrates it.

And everyone has their own take on it, much coming from their ethnic or cultural background-- just like what happened way back when.

As it should be.

(Though like the 4th of July, 9/11 and Labor Day too many have decided to create a revisionist view of what the holiday means... Oh, well. I'm sure the peace loving Native Americans had a nice meal with the genocidal-disease-ridden-thieves White men back in the day...)

Elements of the tribe that became known as the "Comanches," prof, supposedly once celebrated by cooking and serving members of Cabeza de Vaca's expedition across the Southwest.

Amerind tribes were never exactly "peace-loving." That's just a myth liberal white folks tell each other. As a recent historian of Custer's last battle points out in "A Terrible Glory," the Plains Indians tribes in particular basically waged constant warfare on each other. Some tribes, such as the Mandans and the Pawnees, were virtually wiped out by other tribes.

There's even a Portugese movie by Nelson dos Santos, "How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman," whose title sums up its tale of Amerind-European contact and should be run Thanksgiving weekend by some enterprising cable channel.

Jerseygurl, on goose we shall always, as we do on so much else, disagree. Vegetarians, however, are simply a drag when carnivores sit down to honor manifest destiny, and would never be catered to at my table on this great day.

cathar, How dare you criticize a liberal myth!!

(prof has his fingers in the little prof's ears so he cannot hear the cathar myth that "Native Americans" were not peace loving. Or should I cover his eyes? Wait, he can't really read so...)

Though considering we're reading the original Little House books to him, he probably has a clearer impression of the times.

We always get our fresh turkey from Vacchiano Farms, which is one of the Montclair Farmer's Market vendors. They were still taking orders earlier this week, and had scheduled deliveries this Saturday at the market, Tuesday from 5-9pm and Wednesday from 5-8pm.
anthony@vacchianofarms.com / (908) 689-2227

I got one from Vacchiano Farms a few years ago and it was good, but Rosario's are far and away the best turkeys I've ever had. We've used them at least 5 years running and they have been great every year. Plus, use a little of Rosario's ground sausage in your stuffing and you'll be everyone's hero!

Any of y'all ever tried a deep-fried turkey? You don't need to brine it, stuff it, baste it, whatever. It just comes out as juicy and tasty as it could be.

FAQs About Deep-Fried Turkeys:

1. This is an outdoor sport. In some areas, FEMA is charging the perpetrators for the cleanup costs when indoor turkey fryers go over.

2. This is something you do not want to do using a frozen turkey. Unless you really like poultry-based pyrotechnics or get off on boiling oil showers, let the bird thaw out first.

3. Even more so than with conventional roasting, it is important to ensure that all -- and I mean ALL -- cavities have been thoroughly inspected and any packages of necks, hearts, gizzards, etc., have been removed. While some of this may be distasteful to your sensibilities, not doing it may prove to be more distasteful to your digestive system.

4. Also, if you forget to take the little pop-up thermometer out befire you start, it will pop-up about three seconds after the turkey hits the raging oil. The bird ain't done yet. Trust me.

5. What else can you use the deep fryer for? They are very good for shrimp/crab boils, gumbo orgies, and washing small- to medium-sized dogs. (Make sure the propane burner is disconnected before you dunk Phideaux!)

6. What about all that expensive oil I have to put in to cover the turkey? Well, it doesn't have to be extra-virgin (or any other kind of virgin) olive oil. Just your plain old Costco-brand vegetable oil will do. You could even use lard or beef tallow. And, after you are done and everything cools down, you can strain it and put it back in the jug and use it for deep frying your Christmas goose, your Easter lamb (or bunny), or your 4th of July hot dogs. I know some folks up in New Hampshire who use it to lubricate their snowmobiles, too.

Y'all enjoy, hear?

We're in the midst of a kitchen renovation. Any local restaurants serving Thanksgiving dinner?

I get mine from the Goffle Road Poultry Farm every year in Wycoff. Its nice to pick out the bird and see him/her in action before you eat.