Something for Jerseyans to brag about? A U.S. Census survey shows that Jersey leads the nation in lowest divorce rates — 6.1 for men and 6 for women, according to data released last month from the 2009 American Community Survey, the Star Ledger reports.
Even though Tony and Carmela and countless other Jersey couples stay together, there are plenty of exceptions. Bloomfield’s Joelle Caputa is one. Caputa, who blogs about divorce, is working on her upcoming book Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s “a collection of stories based on a series of interviews with empowered young women who raised their naked left ring fingers high and waved their ex-husbands goodbye as they took charge of their futures.” (If this sounds like you — you can share your story here.)
Caputa was inspired to create the book because when her marriage came crashing down soon after her first wedding anniversary, she couldn’t find any books that related to what she was going through.
I know there are other young women out there just like me, who felt so alone, like they were the only one to which this happened. It’s scary entering your 30s and feeling like you’re starting from scratch, as you watch your other friends walk down the aisle and give birth. I know. That’s why I feel it’s so important that as young, confident women with potential dripping from our pores, we unite and lead the way for those whose lives as just turning down this winding road. This book will show those women that divorce in your 20s is just the beginning of the life you were meant to live. And that life is indeed beautiful.
Caputa, who has found love again, gives this advice: “Trash the dress, bury your wedding album in the back of your closet, and celebrate your divorce!”
We ask you — why do you think Garden State divorce rates so low? Is it a money thing?
“Is it a money thing?” I think so.
NJ also has some of the wealthiest people in the nation so that’s no surprise. Divorce can cost lots of money, what with property, alimony, child support…and don’t forget the divorce attorneys. So yeah, if the marriage is not totally unbearable, many people stay together because it’s too expensive to split up.
My 5 closest friends all the way back, from high school, are all still married to their first, and all are nearing 30 years or more. One got divorced, and after 2 or 3 years apart, they remarried one & other, and AGAIN are now in their 38th year married.
Yes, it is very expensive to split, and it hurts the offspring(s) as well. Only the lawyers make out okay.
“One got divorced, and after 2 or 3 years apart, they remarried one & other, and AGAIN are now in their 38th year married.”
Now *that* could be a story worth reading: a real success story.
…Andrew